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This feeling of darkness surrounds me. This feeling of pain aches through my entire body. No amount of liquor seems to help. I just want to cry. I want to cry until I dry up. What's wrong with me? Why can't I find the happiness anymore? I have good days where everything is amazing like it was but ever since your death, I can't seem to bring myself out of this sadness. Why did you leave? Why did you have to go? I miss you so much it hurts. Why? Why?! WHY?!!! This bottle is running low and it doesn't seem to numb the pain...
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Blog-121: The Feeling of Loneliness
Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if you guys know but I am in a long term relationship. We have been together for over five years and we are even planning our wedding. We haven't made it official but we are saving money.
I'm not sure why but, at this current moment in time, I am feeling extremely lonely and depressed and I'm not sure why. I feel like I want to cry but nothing is coming out. It is one of those days where my fiancé is in a bad mood so he's really quiet and distant. We have barely talked to each other today. It seems like when he gets in these moods, it drags me into a depression and the only one in my house to pay attention to
Blog 120: Hi Everyone
Hi everyone, I am back in a way. I am sorry I haven't been on in a long time. I didn't realize that my last journal entry was back in 2012. That's crazy!!
So I am back and wish to continue my journal entries as if they were my blog. Sometimes I feel like I need to talk to someone who has no idea who I am or anything about me. It just feels good that I can talk to you guys without judgment or anything like that. I hope that's okay!
Talk to you guys later!
-KKC
Blog 119: 2012 is over already
I don't know how many of you believed in the 2012 thing, how many of you were scared or thought it was just a joke. Well, my one friend let me in on a fact that made all my fears about it disappear. I didn't exactly believe in it but I was afraid of death coming too soon because there was so much in my life that I still wanted to do.
The cold hard truth is, there have been 514 leap years since Caesar created it in 45BC. Without the extra day every four years, today (April 14th, 2012) would be August 8th, 2013. Also, the Mayan calender did not account for leap years....so technically the world should have ended seven months ago.
So there you
Blog 118: Please Check Out This Video!!
One of my best friends in the entire world is trying to become a big youtube star. She has been posting videos daily now and some of them are pretty funny. Tonight (3/16/2012) she uploaded a video that made me laugh so hard my makeup went into my eyes. It's one that I want EVERYONE to share. Show it to everyone! It's worth it and it will make my friend so happy to be known at playlist live in Florida.
Her youtube name is "uhmqat" and her is the link to that awesome video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO8LXy_2KG0&feature=bf_prev&list=UU2ZUDJ8wHb91EkSIJMoVBWg&lf=plcp
comment here and below the video telling her what you think. I want to kno
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You're going to be ok, I guarantee it. I suffer with depression which I can't take pills for as it will counter act my epilepsy medication so I am plagued with feeling down and gloomy all the time. But you learn to cope, to get up and carry on regardless because you're stronger than you think. You won't let yourself give in or give up, you WILL carry on. You will find your inner strength your inner willpower and in time, you will start to get better, bit by bit. Do I feel happy? Sometimes, sometimes I reflect back on the moment and I'm not happy even when I remember the reason why I was at that point, sometimes I have really bad days, but I still get up and get on with the day. The pain of loss is hard, very hard. You can never get over it, but you can adapt to it, and learn to cope.